Thanks to Staci Burt of Wunderkind PR, I am giving away one copy of Elizabeth The First Wife.
Book Description:
Elizabeth Lancaster, an English professor at Pasadena City College, fills her days with books, tending her garden and growing her collection of European comfort shoes. But that all changes when her ex-husband and A-list action movie star FX Fahey unexpectedly shows up with a job offer that she can’t refuse. Now, instead of grading papers, Elizabeth packs for a summer at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival where her role is to provide artistic support and make sure FX doesn’t humiliate himself in an avant-garde production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
Meanwhile, Elizabeth’s house sitter back in Pasadena is her Congressman brother-in-law’s dreamy chief of staff, whose calls regarding how to work the washing machine and stovetop slowly cross the line into much more personal territory.
Witty, relatable and incredibly funny, ELIZABETH THE FIRST WIFE is about the unexpected turns that life sometimes takes and how one woman handles those turns with the cynical humor and unfaltering poise of a Shakespearean heroine.
Excerpt:
This
is where the class gets good, I thought. Where I, Elizabeth Lancaster,
community college English teacher and theater enthusiast, feel most in my
element. “Okay, let’s do this. Let’s read it together, Nico. You and me. Like I
always say, Shakespeare’s words are meant to be spoken, not studied at arm’s
length. It’s living, breathing dialogue. And in this scene, the sexist pig is
trying to convince the cold-hearted be-yotch that the sun is actually the moon.
It’s his way of exerting power, and she is employing her own manipulative
techniques to shut him down. Raise your hand if you’ve done this in your own
relationships. Who’s played mind games in a romantic relationship?”
All
the hands went up except Sahil’s, whose closest personal relationship has
probably been with his PlayStation controller. “That’s what I thought. Get up,
Nico. You’re Petruchio and I’m Kate. Let’s go.”
He
heaved his squat body out of the chair, as his classmates hooted. His buddy
from high school, Aron, hissed, “Duuude.” Nico’s reluctance was skin deep. He
was a ham at heart. “Please, don’t make me do this.”
I
took a swig of Diet Coke and did my best faux-ghetto “Oh, it’s on.” The
students whooped, like I knew they would.
Nico
began haltingly, adding several more syllables than in the original. “Come on, a’ God’s name. Once more, um, um,
toward our father’s. Good Lord, how bright and goodly shines the moon!” He
inserted a dramatic hand gesture for emphasis, then gave me a triumphant look.
Oh,
it was on. I tapped into my Inner Shrew, which wasn’t hard. I was a single,
mid-30s woman with emerging bunions, a leaking roof, and a love life that had
been in decline since the early Aughts. Not to mention that I had a mother who
kept setting me up with every divorced dad in Pasadena and a sister who
insisted I needed to keep “putting myself out there” even though she has no
idea how rough it is “out there.” Why couldn’t they just leave me alone with my
books, my vegetable garden, and my growing collection of European comfort
shoes? I happened to like my life. Why didn’t my family? Oh, yes, at that
particularly moment in time, I was feeling extremely shrewish. Watch out, Nico.
“The moon! The sun—it is not light now.”
Nico
rose to the challenge, playing his Petruchio with a touch of Jersey Shore. “I say it is the moon that shines so bright.”
The
classroom door cracked as it opened. I didn’t bother to turn to see who’d
arrived thirty minutes late to class. Besides, the audible gasp from a dozen young
women told me it was Jordan. He was easily the best-looking boy in the room and
a star baseball player who was hoping for a decent transfer offer. Jordan slid
in late most days, hoping for attendance credit and a chance to flirt with
Shiree. But I paid no attention to the rumble from the other students, because
I was in the zone. “I know it is the sun
that shines so bright.”
Nico’s
jaw dropped open, apparently stunned silent by my confidence. But the scene
wasn’t nearly over, so I gave him the universal “it’s your turn” sign with my
hands. He stammered, unable to get out the next line. And then I heard the next
lines come from behind me. “Now by my
mother’s son, and that’s myself, It shall be the moon, or star, or what I
list…”
I turned to face the owner of the
familiar voice. Good God, just what I needed.
No wonder the girls gasped. There, resplendent
in jeans and a black T-shirt that probably cost more than my car, was Francis
Fahey. Or as the world knew him, FX Fahey, the third-highest-grossing action
star behind Harrison Ford and Tom Cruise. His “Icarus” franchise had spawned
video games, fast food tie-ins, and a legion of fans that believed the
laid-back actor to actually be the futuristic cop hero. Clearly, FX was used to
being the center of attention, and he owned the classroom the minute he
entered. He strode up the center aisle, grinning effortlessly, like he was just
returning from the grocery store with a six-pack of beer instead of invading my
workplace after a decade of no face-to-face contact. Oh, he was enjoying the
moment. “Or ere I journey to your
father’s house. Go on and fetch our horses back again. Evermore cross’d and
cross’d, nothing but cross’d.”
About Lian Dolan:
Lian Dolan is a writer, producer, talk show host, podcast pioneer and social media consultant. She writes the blog and produces the weekly podcast “The Chaos Chronicles,” a humorous look at modern motherhood. She writes for Oprah.com as a parenting expert.
A decade ago, Lian created Satellite Sisters, an award-winning talk show, blog and website, with her four real sisters. Her writing has appeared in many national magazines, including regular columns in O, The Oprah Magazine and Working Mother and essays in such anthologies as Chicken Soup for the Sister’s Soul. TV appearances have included The Today Show, CBS Sunday Morning, and The Oprah Winfrey Show. She is a popular speaker for groups and corporations, always using humor as hook. Her previous books include Helen of Pasadena and The Satellite Sisters’ Uncommon Senses.
This giveaway is open to the U.S. and Canada only and ends on May 30, 2013. Please use Rafflecopter to enter.
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